What’s Up Wednesday>Summer Hair

 

Today starts our new summer series for Wednesdays! What’s Up Wednesday! An enlightening series for what interests and refreshes women.

Today we have a guest post from Cacee Coheley from Peacock Avenue of Wichita Falls, TX and focuses on taking care of our hair this summer!

Summer Hair Care

Caring for your hair can be hard at times but even more so during the scorching summer months!

From heat to chlorine your hair can really suffer during the summer. 

I have a few tips you should follow to ensure your locks stay luscious, shiny, and soft all summer long! 

HEAT:

Defend your hair from all sources of heat, including the flat iron, blow dryer, and the sun. I am a stickler for protecting your hair from heat. My clients ask me all the time what’s the one product their hair needs most; I always tell them the same thing. Your hair needs a heat protectant from the blow dryer and especially from your flatiron. My favorite heat protectant to use is Kenra Flat iron spray or Simply Smooth Magic Potion, you can’t go wrong with either one of those.

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(Tip: if your flat iron and blow dryer have a heat setting turn down the heat on both, unless you have crazy curly hair you don’t need to blast the heat to get your hair straight.)

We often forget about protecting our hair from the sun, it’s an extension of our body therefore we should protect it just as we protect our skin.

The easiest and most effective way to defend your hair against the sun is to spray sunscreen directly into your hair or pull out a cute hat and cover that hair you’ve paid so much money for! 😉

CHLORINE:

Chlorine dries your hair to the max just like it does your skin, and it also has the potential to turn light colored hair into a green. I have had many parents bring their kids to me at the end of the summer hoping I can get the green out of their kids hair. (Don’t worry, we can always get it out.)  To avoid this all together, I have a few helpful hints.
As soon so as you get done swimming, go wash your hair with a shampoo that strips all of the chlorine out of your hair.

You can use many products but I prefer Tri Swim or Ultra Swim, then wash and condition to ensure you rid your hair of the chlorine.

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(Hint: if you’re into all natural remedies, try rinsing your hair with 1 part apple cider vinegar to 4 parts water, then wash with your normal shampoo and conditioner.) Once you’ve gotten the leftover chlorine out of your hair, fill a spray bottle with water, add a few drops of coconut oil and sage oil, shake well, and spritz onto hair to add shine and vitality!! IMG_1829

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WASH AND TRIM

Have you ever asked your stylist “how often am I supposed to wash my hair?” OR, “does trimming it really make it grow faster?”
First of all, there are two main types of scalp health, oily scalp or dry scalp. If you have an oily scalp, wash your hair as often as needed. My hair is oily to the max, I can wash it at night and by the very next night my scalp is greasy and looks wet. If you have this problem, let me stress this, WASH YOUR HAIR. I have never dried out my hair by over washing because my hair over produces oil. Now, if you have a dry scalp and can go 3 days without your hair getting oily, then congratulations! You are one of the lucky ones and don’t have to wash your hair daily!  When you wash, always make sure to get all of the shampoo residue out of your hair and ALWAYS apply a good conditioner. Make sure you rinse all of the conditioner out of your hair so it doesn’t leave your hair greasy looking or without volume.
Secondly, frequently trim your hair to cut off those dead ends. When you trim your split ends off, your entire hair strand is healthy and it grows nice and long.
But when you leave your split ends, your hair still grows at the root but the ends keep splitting and break off. Therefore, your hair doesn’t get any longer.  
I recommend 6-10 weeks for a trim (trim is anywhere from 1/4 -1/2 of an inch)  if you are growing out your hair. If you’re wanting to keep your hair at a particular length, I recommend a haircut every 6 weeks!

If you can protect your hair from the heat and chlorine, wash your hair as needed, and trim those dead ends away, you are sure to have touchable, shiny, soft, amazing looking hair. 

 

How I Learned to be Content

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My Problem

In my haste to satisfy the pride of life, I have diligently fed my flesh by trying to be one step ahead of my season. What I found, instead of joy & contentment, was feelings of failure, frustration, unmet/unrealistic expectations, & a restless spirit that settled so deep in my heart I couldn’t see my way out for trying to fix the way I was approaching life.

The gentle nudge I started to hear echoed Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

I quickly clung to my abilities, meek as they are, and hoped to do better. I can be steadfast, I thought. I can work on a pure heart.



What I Didn’t Do

As I didn’t do much struggling or wrestling (that would have required actual effort, and unfortunately, I trying to just do better weren’t going to work for me), I settled with trying to rest on the areas of my life that seemed natural. Once I was working out of my strengths, and even comforts, I could hear the whispers that could only be heard in a stillness.

I cannot, after He has clearly spoken to me about how my outset is not working, continue to work so fervently to be a step ahead of where I am in my life as a woman, wife, mom, or any other aspect of my roles.

Then it presented itself like a blooming plant that is emerging from the blossom that has rested, filled with nutrients and all the perfect setting up for a beautiful, bountiful expression of nature. Contentment. I knew the minute my soul was filled with this, alluring to some, actual manifestation of the Spirit.

It’s not an emotion. It’s not a feeling. It is the culmination of hope, mercy, grace, and trust.

I began thinking “this is so good…I need to write this down.” That pride of life crept back in and then I exclaimed in my heart “this IS good, thank you LORD for getting my soul to a place of understanding, rest, movement, and finally the acquisition of contentment.

Finally, A Looking Glass

It began with anxiety and panic that I wanted so desperately to be ahead of my season, onto the next step, planned/prepared/ready, and without a shred of help from others. The deep sorrow I felt after not feeling prepared and ready when a new phase of discipline was necessary in the heart of one of my children, left me feeling the way I mentioned in the introduction. The trepidation was almost more than my person could handle.

With the newfound contentment, I could almost hear “this is the next step…look at this Scripture….look how God led His people here….look at Paul’s admonishment here….who are you right here…..what the goal for this season…..what is hard right now in your heart….” questions that I haven’t left lurking like I used to when I thought I could move forward and fix the questions with my approach instead of listening to His guidance.

Moving Forward in Understanding

The joy and contentment found in resting in His guidance for where I am now, ABSOLUTELY does prepare me for the NEXT season.

If I am not walking so closely with His guidance, direction, hope, and correction right now, then I will surely suffer more when His planned suffering/trials/chastisement enters because I haven’t absorbed the gentle preparation He was providing all along.

The discipline of the Lord is love. An example from my life would be when He tells me to slow down. Before, I would have rebuked that thought that I don’t have time to slow down because I need to be ahead of my children’s needs (discipline, health, homeschool, etc) or that I need to be working diligently throughout the day to make sure we are ready for dad to get home to a peaceful place (which never happened when I was pushing out the Spirit’s prompting and pushing hard at home). The result of my efforts was stress, anxiety, discontment, and anger. Meeting the words “slow down” with obedience, speaking gently to those around me, opening my heart to the needs of others, always works in great motion towards whatever my future holds.

The sufferings and trials are not big and small in His divine wisdom. They are specific to the days ordained of OUR individual lives and He is faithful and just to give us all of Himself to walk through them.

I learned to be content, by recognizing His ability. That ties up so much in my heart that is lacking trust, faith, hope, and an acknowledgement that He’s in control.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”

the one word that sums up all i’ve learned about myself when i became a mommy

 

it’s so painful to my flesh to say it.

selfish.

it’s painful to my flesh for 2 reasons.

1. because i’m embarrassed i didn’t learn how selfish i was when i got married…it took having a child for me to realize that i’m selfish.

2. because i have a root sin of pride and to realize, confess, & grow beyond this selfishness means i’m not perfect.

1 John 2:16

King James Version (KJV)

16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

when i have on the filter of Truth, i can see my selfishness for what it is (sin) & press into Christ’s redeeming forgiveness. when my heart is bent towards asking God to produce based on the good intentions, motivations, & desires He has put within me to steward the lives of my children, i am outside of my flesh & directed towards the idea of redemption.

yes we are all selfish. but praise the Lord of all Heaven and Earth that He is in the great and glorious business of Redeeming.

Ephesians 5 Amplified Version

13 But when anything is exposed and reproved by the light, it is made visible and clear; and where everything is visible and clear there is light.

14 Therefore He says, Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall shine (make day dawn) upon you and give you light.

15 Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),

16 Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.

so there is no condemnation for the temptation to be selfish towards my husband or children. but an ever present reminder of what success really is in the realm of home. success in the Spirit is waking up each morning and asking of the Lord

Psalm 139 New Living Translation

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

so that when our children will not give us a break, they spill milk, have a potty accident, pull their clothes out of their drawers, wake up 3 times each in the middle of the night, scream and run away when discipline is knocking on the door of their hearts……….or when our spouse forgot to do something important for us, forgets something special, makes a decision we don’t agree with, or is having a rough day and their attitude effects us–we can confess we have selfish hearts that want to scream or pout, but then repent and remember Lord’s ability to lead us in the way everlasting.

He puts His Spirit within us to walk and guide us in the trenches. yes, even the trenches of our selfishness. our hearts are deceitful (Joshua 1:9), but He is grace. He forgives. He gives. He extends mercy and grace.

He knows our hearts. our very fragile, worn out, over-extended, but very very very full hearts. the heart that beats harder and faster during the hard days. the heart that explodes at night when our littles snuggle up on our chest while we read. the heart that grows more full as our children begin to speak Truth themselves and model all that we’ve spoken about Jesus. and as we hear and watch our sweet babes talk about Christ, He is sweetly beckoning us as we watch the little seeds we’ve planted begin to be harvested by Him.

it’s so hard during the drag of day and sometimes night to remember that we are living out a calling. a calling to love our husband and children well. it is weary sometimes when we don’t know what “well” is and we’ve lost track of our purpose. but He says we can call on Him. so my prayer for myself and other mommas is that we reevaluate what it means for us (as individuals, not as compared to other mommies) to love our husband and our children well. we are all gifted, interested, and experienced in different ways. press into Him with your deepest and grandest expectation that He will speak directly to your heart about how you can rest in who He has made you and love your family well with how He has equipped you. no more trying harder. no more being better. no more rules and regulations. just asking, exploring, and living out who you already are and loving with the tools and resources He has already provided.

just ask Him. and then abandon your own idea of what the pressure tells you it should look like for you to be a mom and wife and, instead, be the mom and wife He’s already equipped you to be with a whole heart full of expectation. sometimes your greatest equipping and resources come from your children and your spouse. be sensitive to the Spirit.

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the hard decision

The hardest decision is to let someone else decide, sometimes.

I’m so thankful my husband makes decisions.


We both make decisions all day. Some big. Some small. Some important. Some just preference. Some of our decisions effect each other and our family. Some don’t.

It is a great responsibility & accountability to defer to my husband.

 It is responsible for me because scripture calls me to acknowledge and respond to him as the head of our family. It is responsible & accountable for me to defer to him because I am called to teach and exemplify what it means to be a biblical woman in my marriage. Scripture calls me in Titus to show younger women. I’m also responsible & accountable to defer to my husband so that my children grow up with a discerned view and understanding of their role in marriage…and life.

There is great unity in trusting my husband. 

Trusting my husband draws me closer to The Lord because I’m ultimately trusting The Lord IN my husband. There is great unity in trusting my husband because this shows him, above all the voices and chatter of the world and my deceitful heart, I choose to believe & follow him. There brings great confidence for his present decisions and whatever may come in our future. I intentionally married a man with whom I agreed with in the realm of money, sex, theology, and calling. Within those realms are vast degrees of opinions and preferences. Where we don’t agree or even know if we agree, we talk, pray, think, and talk some more. Of course we have intense moments in our marriage. We have moments of frustration and confusion. Then, like all other areas of my life, I’m convicted and humbled. We come together and talk again. After the strife. After the rebellion of my heart.

Other times-it’s easy to defer to my husband. There are just some decisions that I’m glad I don’t have to make. My role as the female in our marriage bears great responsibility.

 I don’t have to assert myself and take control in places where I’m not called to in order to be important and necessary in our marriage. I am already necessary.

 I am already valued and worthy and needed. For the places I don’t have to or need to be responsible and the decision maker, I will gladly turn to my husband.

For all the ways this culture and world speak up about how men are not men and they are boys and they aren’t stepping up, I question whether they’re being asked or allowed to? We judge them for not being leaders. Yet we aren’t acknowledging the training and support it takes to be a leader. Anyone can be a bulldozer & tell others what to do. It takes a servant with humility and grace to lead well. Those are not qualities that come naturally, nor are they attained by a “just be it” attitude. It is a difficult, weighty opportunity to lead…peers, employees, a family.

So for all the ways women wrestle with their biblical role of what a wife is called to be and do, the men in our life have an equally valuable and difficult calling on their lives and responsibility. 

Our journeys and calling as women and men are very different and vary individually, but are deeply necessary.

When we are obedient to Scripture’s defintion, we are satisfied.

when we can’t put it back together

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photo cred: DeEdra Folmar of Photo[E]motion Photography

desperate times call for desperate measures. i’ve heard that saying before.

now that others depend on me, i know what desperate feels like.

desperate to be better than good.

desperate to be one step ahead of their needs.

desperate to provide love, security, and comfort.

desperate to be a safe place, emotionally.

desperate to be entertaining and challenging.

all of those desires seem so noble. but they’re empty. they are my definition, fueled by my fleshly opinion of what the world is screaming at me to be and do. i get to this understanding of emptiness when i’m broken and weary. my two least favorite adjectives when i’m humbling myself before the Lord. and it usually comes when i would least expect it. i would expect broken and weary when i’m tired. i would expect them when i’m not intimately acquainted with sanctification. i would expect them when i’m busy. i would expect them when i just don’t want to do life anymore. and sometimes, these are all true moments that open the door for brokenness and weariness. but, not this time.

this time, broken and weary found me at the corner of “i’m being consistent with my children, trying to be consistent with my home, and i’m pushing through”. my marriage is a safe place for me so i’m “trying harder” there, just asking for grace from the Lord and my husband every day.

so why broken and weary if being consistent and gracious? because THOSE ARE SO HARD AND THEY TAKE A LOT OF SANCTIFICATION AND I CAN’T MAINTAIN THEM ON MY OWN.

when we’re hanging on by a thread during obedient and faithful times, it’s expected to experience weariness. and brokeness. because we are tired, selfless, and out of our own motivation. it’s spent. our obedience and discipline must come from Somewhere else. the Spirit intercedes. we need Him. that’s why Christ sent us a Helper. we cannot do good alone.

be encouraged. if you think to do good today, the indwelling of the Spirit is moving you. if you think to be disciplined today, the Holy Spirit is prompting you and putting it in you to move forward.

so when we’re ready to throw in the towel in an area where we’ve been plugging along, faithful and obedient, don’t. let’s press forward. he’s done such a work in us, let’s be an open vessel for that work to continue. ultimately, we’re seeking to look like Christ. that doesn’t happen with one small victory. we continue taking steps forward.

Philippians 3:14

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a goodwork in you will carry it on to completion until the day ofChrist Jesus

Psalm 51:10

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

…walk humbly with your God

i love this. YOUR God. He’s personal. He works in tangible ways. His character doesn’t change, but He brings change around us and in us. and it’s our opportunity for relationship building to walk humbly with Him…through change.

people (especially women) say “i hate change”. of course we do. our insecurity loathes change. we just figured out “this” and we just figured out how package ourselves in “this” to look like we want to look and appear how we want others to see us. but, of course, the Lord is going to change that up because our “pretty package” is not what He intends out of our relationship with Him. He asks for righteousness and relationship. and He brings both by bringing change. that’s how we’re sifted. and when we’re sifted, the rough edges diminish (but only a little in various places of our hearts at one time which means it has to happen on a continual basis because our personalities and flesh are always evolving).

so. while i’m on the subject of change. we’re changing. students go back to school next week. wednesday night is our annual “on campus portico” and then portico tuesdays start up! wednesday nights at first start. tuesday morning women’s bible studies start. thursday night college girls bible study starts. a new facet of our ministry, the joshua project kicks off. thursday morning mops starts. homeschool preschool for drake starts. holt (those of you who know our sweet holt know there needs to be no more explanation. he’s a firecracker). sunday continues with our portico lunch and lifegroups! saturday tailgates start.

i’m usually counting down the days until september so i can decorate for fall! speaking of change. it’s amazing how quickly priorities and interests can change. i’m not so thoughtful on fall decorating as i am getting my family ready to maneuver this semester with as much grace and peace as possible.

so here are few of the many ways i have been pushing hard to have a manageable, yet busy schedule that will allow for all of the unplanned interruptions i’m confident we will experience!

Sarah Johnson and I did this crockpot freezer meal preparation which required a LOT of work. But, has already paid off! 20 meals including shopping and prep and they’re all in the freezer!

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i made this amazing menu board to go along with all the recipes i know and have already prepared. Image

I made a homemade planner to meet all of our needs. i used the following printables and blogs.

a perpetual calendar found here Imageand calendar prints from here

Imageand i got everything ready to start pre-k at home with Drake!

just a FEW of what we’ll be doing

PRESCHOOL FUN

we’ll start off with a calendar that resembles all mickey mouse fun found at live laugh love here

we will talk about ABC’s and start with some small reading curriculum found on confessions of a homeschooler here

and we’ll talk about the weather from teaching mama here

and there are TONS more of what we’ll be doing but those are just a little look.

we can’t plan for everything. but when we know change is coming we can prepare our hearts for change, set our spirit to be flexible, fix our eyes on opportunities, and our minds towards peace and grace.

i’m ready. fall, you’re welcome here. Lord, give me grace. and give me wisdom to lead my sweet little boys towards understanding and mercy.