The year is not in control

Every year, people say good riddance to the previous year because something(s) have happened to make it seem like a terrible year. We have had some rough years in our short 9, almost 10, years of marriage (mostly health related, despite our best efforts, it’s just what the Lord uses to sanctify us and we always ask Him to use it to keep our perspective healthy and stable).

We’ve lost many (even the amount of celebrities seems unprecedented…but maybe just because I’m getting older), I’ve seen friends lose loved ones so close to the holidays (including pets), and just overall the social temperature around us seems to be escalating to the point we can’t discuss life without worrying about offenses and preferences.

I’m going to work diligently these last few days of 2017 to not bemoan it or let it roll, in hopes of a better 2018. If that’s my attitude, I’m sure 2018 will end similarly. There are some moments in each year that change the trajectory of our hearts and lives. Whether it seems for the better or not, we have the will to choose life and hope and then our hearts will follow!

When we use verbiage like “this year brought us…” or “I hope next year brings…”, we’re forsaking Who is in control. The year itself is not in control. Maybe He did bring some hard stuff this year, that doesn’t ruin the whole year or make Him any less good.

This year He added a baby girl to our lives, called us to somewhere new to move our lives and hearts, & brought cancer and chemo. The reality of cancer and chemo didn’t negate the joy of Clara’s presence in our life or the great adventure of our lives in a new place.

The growth and change of obedience and acceptance is too great for us to miss it by bemoaning and wallowing in the memories (or current reality) of hard stuff.

Look back with victory over what we’ve been through that changed us and joy over the blessings this year brought. Look forward with anticipation that we can get through anything because we’ve already walked through hard stuff and pray for blessings in abundance.

My response is my story.

#itsmychoice #thankyou2017 #anotheryeargonesofast


Start where we are…

“Clara, I’ll write your Christmas list, even though I can’t spell a lot yet” ❤️ We have the Holy Spirit, Scripture, wisdom, & life experience to help us parent. We are given trials for many reasons, and one of them (as far as I can see, which is limited) is to help grow us towards new perspective and new priorities. When handed new and really hard circumstances, there are so many options for response (or reactions, which can be dangerous). I’ve learned so much the last few months. I’ve changed a LOT in the last few months. #beanicehuman is a thing and it will improve your heart (the feeling kind as my Drake calls it) health. I’ve grown a lot. Scripture says wisdom is ours if we just ask. So ask ❤️ one of the many ways Jesus has helped me cut some chains of bondage, has been letting me see my parenting through a different lens. I’ve learned to trust the Lord that He can set Jesus in their hearts and then instruct and nourish their hearts. It doesn’t ALL rest on me. Though I have a sobering amount of responsibility, accountability, & mostly opportunity to steward their hearts (the feeling and spiritual kind ☺️), it’s not all on me. So when I don’t know how to mitigate a brawl or answer their many questions about hard subjects, I take a breath, pray, and talk to them with Jesus words. Then I see through a different lens when my oldest says “mom, for Christmas, I want to adopt a child who doesn’t have a family. No one should be alone at Christmas or ever even if their parents made bad choices”. I didn’t teach him that—that was spiritual movement in his heart and THAT glory goes to the Lord. I got to experience joy that He’s growing my son’s heart so much bigger than this world. While the younger one wanted so much to serve and love his sister, on his way to loving even bigger than our family, he’s starting where he is and that’s what we get to do everyday. Start loving where we are…