What is vulnerable?

It’s telling you that I’ve had a day full of “I wish I was……” insert anything from prettier to a better cook. This thought life is actually very uncharacteristic of me.

I’m not the most confident person in the world, but The Lord dealt very seriously, albeit graciously, with me concerning my self-image and self-condemnation a few years ago. It has been a point of interest for my heart & a place I speak Truth to myself about on a regular basis.

So for this day of useless comparison and self-loathing to be battering me, I felt a little caught off guard. Every picture I saw contained someone with bold fashion statements, risk-taking make-up, toned physique, steel like nerves with their children…..all the qualities I felt were supremely insufficient in my existence.

Then I remembered my post on Facebook yesterday.

20140422-211630.jpg

I let him in…he stole from me. I felt betrayed. Then I remembered that’s his nature. I’ve never trusted the enemy so there was nothing to betray. I let down the guard. I wasn’t vigilant with my heart or my thoughts today.

Thankfully, The Lord empowered my weak mind and heart to see what today held for me in terms of my need for a Savior.

Just like that::I repented & forgiveness separated me from the sin that had entangled me for a moment.

Advertisements

when answers don’t come

DSC_0036edit

 

when driving home for nap time, I whispered “please God, send the rain” and i heard about 30 times “PLEEEEEEASE God, send the RAIN!” from Drake. we got home and he said…”I guess He didn’t want to send rain right now”. a theology lesson ensued about how God answers prayers. i think the lesson was more for me than my son.

if you didn’t know, northern texas is on the doorstep of Stage 5 drought conditions. it’s devastating. i dare say you can understand if you haven’t seen this kind of dryness. our lakes are drying up. our yards are dead. our trees are dropping huge branches. it’s terribly sad.

there are areas of our family’s life that have seemed like the wilderness. places in our life and hearts that we have prayed for years that God would deliver and heal. so far, he hasn’t done either.

then there are places in the life of our family that we have prayed, and immediately received exactly what we needed and/or wanted.

did the same God handle both of those circumstances? absolutely. he was not a better Provider for us when He gave us our request than in the places where He hasn’t given direction or resolution.

where we lack for understanding, He is still Providing. He’s providing because He is walking with us, teaching us what it means to trust Him. He’s providing because He is giving the faith to realize and proclaim that we believe Him….even when we don’t understand, even when we hurt, and even when we have severe wants.

we are not exempt from the struggle of this world and the struggle with sin when we trust Christ. we are given a new set of tools with which we can maneuver this earth. what grace and sufficiency He is to empower us with great access to wisdom and trust. we just need to ask. sometimes our knees, but ask nonetheless.

He’s always there. He doesn’t see our times as good or bad. He seems them as He ordained them-we walk, knowing He’s in control and sometimes He’s more interested in growing our hearts and character than growing whatever might come from our requests.

Psalm 139

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in [f]Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will [g]overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
12 Even the darkness is not dark [h]to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

don’t “let it go”

Sharp Expressions's Blog

20140331-155054.jpg

There is no handbook for parents outside of what scripture admonishes us to be towards our children and others. And if we long for them to model what scripture requires of us, we better be raising them in the direction of those words. I love being a mom. But it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it’s the most sanctifying place in my heart. It’s also the most rich, rewarding, & enjoyable thing I’ve ever done. I’ve sought counsel today and heard three times #winthebattle. And I did. It’s worth the effort & sacrifice of self to be consistent & firm. It is so much more tiresome and frustrating to do the same thing & say the same thing over and over than it is to just let the unhealthy behavior continue. What will prevail if I don’t fight my desire to give in to their disobedience? What will…

View original post 140 more words